Unwelcome One

I hit like Vesuvius.
Greater emotional impact
Than one’s first love.
Irrepressible as incoming tide.
Washing over sand castles.
I elicit self-doubt,
Self-pity,
Self-centredness.
I bring on red anger,
Social awkwardness,
Loner spirit.
I humiliate
With damp blubber.
Pluck the mournful strings,
Belly-high.
Drag up guilt for things
Not said; not done;
Not forgiven.
I pilfer memories.
And energy.
I cause friends
To keep distant,
To stammer,
To grow impatient.
I haunt with faces,
Gestures, music,
Abandoned wardrobe.
I roar
At the phrase
“Snap out of it.”
Cause men to doubt
Their manhood.
Cause women to remember
Apron strings, rockers
And first school-days.
I befuddle and
Bring on mistakes,
Inefficiencies.
I slander God
And His kind.
(For a time.)
I tax prayer
Beyond itself.

But I also clean
The inner residues;
Flush out the vitriol;
Relieve the inexplicable;
Distill humble servant-spirit;
Develop new-found audacities,
Currencies, compassions.
Evoke the dark night,
That joy might
Come in the morning.

I am Grief.

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3 thoughts on “Unwelcome One

  1. Wow… That hit like a sledge hammer. You’ve written the story of my life as well. Thank God literally for the ending…

  2. Floyd, this came to me after the death of my Dad Jack Blair in June of 2010. Take a look at our poem “Memorial Plot” posted on Stuff That Rhymes site on Google. Appreciate your enthusiasm and your involvement on Fellowship of Christian Bloggers.

    1. Wow… I lost mine in May of 2010. A life changing event. Many of my first post in 2010 were about my dad. Sounds like both of us were blessed with guidance and honor of men of God in our dads…

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